Recently, a social media content contributor I like reminded people online to think about their reactions regarding their insistence that someone (in this case, the content creator) needed to “do what I say as I am offended by you.”
This influencer responded to a torrent of hate being thrown at them with the simple yet effective “You are free to silence me in your world, but you are not free to silence me in mine. @therealslimsherri
I want to address this in more depth as it is a subject that needs to be visited by all those offended by content they disagree with and then decide to post offensive content themselves. This reaction results in displaying the falsely held belief that somehow we are entitled to spread hate speech as a reaction to views that contradict our own.
We all have unique views that reflect our deeply held values. Those views come from many places and are as valid as anyone else’s. However, when these views translate into fear, what could have once been a simple disagreement often turns into hatred, bullying, and even violence. When fear drives your value system, you can become the person you shouldn’t want to be if you were to reflect upon it.
Many of us feel that if we support people targeted with hate speech, we are free to espouse as much anger towards their online abusers as the abusers used in the first place. Yet, hate begets hate, and nobody moves forward. This is a tiring truth in America. Everyone thinks they are correct, and when they feel threatened, that correctness turns into righteousness, and we often end up hurting the people we want to support.
Studies show that over 28% of Americans report trolling someone online. Over a quarter of the population has intentionally interrupted a post with hate speech to hurt people they do not know. Trolling behavior was extensively studied in a 2014 report titled Trolls Want To Have Fun by psychologists Erin Buckels, Paul Trapnell, and Delroy Paulhus. The authors demonstrate that trolls exhibit a triad of behaviors they identify as sadistic, psychopathic, and Machiavellian. (RAMPTON, 2017)
I cannot think of anyone who has not responded to a hateful online comment, particularly if it deeply affects you or a family member with anger. This is a natural but ineffective method of stopping a troll. When you consider that trolling behavior stems from deeper sources than you might have realized, meaning sadistic, psychotic, or Machiavellian[1], it should be an excellent wake-up call to not respond with words but with action.
Deleting hate speech from your social media feed effectively counters trolls. All the current uproar of cancel culture is not a valid point here. Silencing a disturbed person who is attacking you with hate speech is what anybody would do in the tangible world, and it is what you should be doing in the ether. It hurts to be threatened and even frightening, yet the good news is that you do not know this person, and they do not know you. Do not ignite their mental issues with more fuel, as tempting as it is. Instead, pause, take a deep breath, hit delete, and block. Then do what you want the trolls to do and move on to something more positive.
We hear a lot post-pandemic about self-care. We all need to heed this advice. Deleting to erase hate is self-care and how we as a society can help stop the spread of more hate.
This is not to suggest in any way that you should also monitor your thoughtful yet possibly provoking posts to ensure you do not hit any rage buttons. If you have passions that include promoting equal rights and protection for others, be they people, animals, or plants, or find yourself being attacked for something that seems benign, stand your ground with facts, statistics, and truth. Remember Slim Sherri’s powerful words when the trolls try to shut you down, “you can shut me down in your world, but not in mine.”
Stay in your power, promote good, harm no one, hit delete when necessary, and together we will light a path forward.
References
RAMPTON, J. (2017, February 17). Entrepreneur.com. Retrieved from 15 Truths About Online Trolls: https://www.entrepreneur.com/science-technology/15-truths-about-online-troll
[1] cunning, scheming, and unscrupulous, especially in politics.